Guest Post: What I Learned From My Mom When It Comes To Parenting

Guest Post: Written by Kimberly from http://www.safetyinvestor.com

             Let’s all admit that when we were kids we never listened to what our mothers told us. We go against what they say to us just because we do not feel like listening or we want to do what we want to do. We always thought that mothers are always trying to get the fun out of everything. But now that you have your own kids, you suddenly recall all of the times that your mother told you ‘no’. You also realize why they said ‘no’ to you in getting into a reckless situation. You now know that they tried to stop you from doing something not because they are trying to take the fun out of your life but they are genuinely concern that something dangerous might happen to you. You may think that probably they have been in the same reckless situation and is simply passing on their wisdom as they already know what can happen in the situation.

            Our mothers may also be guilty of trying to be perfect parents to us just like what we are doing now to our kids. But from their experience, they may have found out that being perfect is not the right thing when it comes to parenting. We, as new parents, may be just getting to that realization so it is advisable to listen to our mothers when it comes to parenting. We are lucky enough that we have mothers that can guide us and tell us that imperfect parenting may be the best thing when it comes to our kids.

You Can’t Always Be There

Photo 1 via Pinterest

As parents, we have to accept that we can never be always there for our children. Just like a bird, our children need to get out of the nest and explore life. We have to accept that in order to learn, our children need to get away from under our wing and explore life on their own. This does not mean abandonment. We just watch them from a safe distance instead of hovering over them. We have to let our kids decide for themselves for them to learn. Constant hovering will only result with parents being a child’s security device. An LA-base child therapist, Miven Trageser, MFT, said that children need the opportunity to risk, to fail, and to overcome. She also advocated that there is strength in repair. It is okay for your kid to stumble and fall and this does not mean that you are bad parent when it happens to them. Imperfect parenting is about teaching your child how to get up when he/she falls. This is better than always making your kid overly cautious about things that can be fun for them.

Diplomacy Works

Photo 2 via Pinterest

               Nowadays, we have heard a lot of news about bullying and we can be sure that it is real and it is happening especially when we don’t have our eyes on our children. So what do we do about it? True, we can’t stop something so big in one night but we can always help our kids in telling them what they can do about bullying in the playground. You always have to remember that we can never be with our children 24/7 so give them instructions on how they can protect themselves. The first thing you must do is to look for signs if your child is being bullied. You do not have to teach them about outright confrontation because it makes matters worse. You can tell them to be nice and try being friends with their bully. If that still does not work, you can volunteer in your commercial playground and see how things go with the bully. You can talk to the parents of the bully about the situation. You have to remember that playground interaction for parents and kids is not solely between the parents and their children; it is also a chance for parents to talk to other parents. Sturdy playground equipment can also be used to alleviate bullying as these kids can put their energy on these equipment rather than on other kids.

They Understand You

Photo 3 via Pinterest 

              You have to remind yourself that you are only human and are expected to make mistakes. Get it in your system and you’ll also see that it is okay for your child to make mistakes. You may even commit these mistakes in front of your children and you should show them that you admit your mistakes. They learn from you and this does not only mean that they learn from what you say but also from what you do. Always try to be an example that imperfection is natural. There is nothing wrong about making mistakes; imperfect parenting is about telling your child that mistakes are there so they can learn from it. It is also nice to talk to them about this maybe when you are playing around in your residential playground where you can be alone. A mother posted a conversation with her son showing that a child can understand what his/her parents show them if the parents will only take some time to talk and listen to them.


Be Happy That They Are Happy

Photo 4 via Pinterest 

                  
            Because the world continues to progress, we get different kinds of parents as well. We have parents who are radical and want their children to follow their footsteps. But no one can force the future of their children; this is not the job of a parent. You have to accept that whatever it is that you are into may not be the best for your children. You may want your child to be a lawyer or a doctor but he/she is leaning more towards the art and wants to be a painter or a dancer. Their future is not your choice to make but you can lay out the possibilities of their future. Give them all the opportunities to explore and see what they are most interested in. As a parent, you can only support them with their choices and accept them for what they truly want to be.

It’s hard to be a parent especially because there is no manual about it. But it’s a good thing that we have parents who can support us and tell us about their experiences in parenting. It’s a good thing that we are given a day, though it may not be enough, to fully appreciate our mothers on the month of May.